Despite our best intentions and efforts, things sometimes just don’t work out. People can fail once or twice due to any number of unforeseen factors. But, when we repeatedly have the same kind of failure, we cannot afford to attribute it to chance. Repeated relationship failures, like any other kind of repeated failures are directly connected to the way that we do things.

Obviously, in order to have different results, we must take different actions. But what do we change? How do we change? Just thinking that we should behave differently is not enough to bring about change. To change, we must actually do things differently.

1. Change your vision from looking backward to looking forward. Stop idealizing some past relationship. If it really was ideal, you would still have it. You can do better. If you don’t believe you can do better than you have, you will settle for worse than you have had. Where will that get you?

2. Balance your life. Would you buy a car before you have the financial resources to make the payments? Many people do. What happens? At first they are excited with their new car, but then they are stressed by the bills and come to regret buying the car in the first place. People who enter relationships because they are emotionally needy are not in good shape to maintain one. When your life is already going great, you will be positive, exciting, and attractive to wonderful potential partners. When you are desperate and needy, you will not be. You will get into relationships that are bad for you and the best partners will not be attracted to you.

3. Define your dream partner. What is he or she like? This must be done before you get involved with someone. Once involved, we change our desires to match the person we are involved with. Do you want someone who talks with you, is gentle, and likes quiet activities? Do you want someone who loves adventure, trusts you, and is financially sound? Where does he or she live? What kind of work does he or she do? What’s his or her income level? How does he or she dress? What does he or she value the most? You must dare to believe in order to dare to achieve.

4. Become a dream partner. That dream partner you want to have also has a dream partner of his or her own. Take time to figure out what their dream partner is liable to be like. If you cannot be a good match for your partner, it’s just as bad as if you find the wrong person for yourself. An adventurous person would probably like an adventurous partner, for example. Are you really adventurous or do you just think it would be nice to be that way? If you want to find someone who enjoys talking to you, are you a good listener? Do you need to work on that first? Planning to change after you are in a relationship will not be any better than finding a partner and then trying to change him or her.

Of course, you don’t need to do these things to find someone. Poor relationships come cheaply. Great relationships, like anything of value, come at a cost. If you are willing to do the work, you can have a partner and relationship that is the envy of your friends. Your best chance of accomplishing these changes is with someone who has helped others to do the same. Ten books on teeth care will not help you like one dentist can. Neither will 10 books on relationships help you like one relationship coach can. Believe, dream, achieve, and use the resources at your disposal to get what you want in life. That is what successful people do.

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Get your relationship unstuck by signing up for the [http://www.greatrelationshipcoach.org]Relationship Coach newsletter and receive a FREE Relationship Planning Guide. Get daily help for your relationship at the [http://www.relationship-coach.org/unstuck]Relationship Coach Blog.

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By now I am sure you have heard many horror stories about people who failed to take internet dating safety serious. For this unlucky group, their Cinderella story ended in tragedy as opposed to living out a fantasy with a new mate. The simple truth is dating, whether it be traditional or internet can easily turn violent or criminal if you fail to take precautions.

Dating Red Flag #1 – Give Me Your Telephone Number

Use the anonymity that comes with internet dating to your advance, by not giving out your personal information to soon. This is especially true for your phone number. At first thought giving up your home digits does not sound too bad. At this point you may be thinking that changing your number is no big deal, only a minor pain in the butt. But you have to trust me by not giving out your number or giving it some serious consideration before doing so. The last thing you want is to be harassed or threatened by unwelcome phone calls. Lastly, do not be fooled. If some ask for your phone number and you turn them down they probably will convince you to call them. At which time they will just use caller ID to get your number unless it is blocked.

Dating Red Flag #2 – I am Relocating to An Area Near You

The classic example is when someone initiates contacts with you first. Their story is simply this. My job is relocating me to your town, city or state within the next couple of months or year. And I just wanted to find someone where I am going to be living. In most cases, this person is just someone looking to make false promises of a future long term relationship. In actuality this person is starving for attention and has no plans to move. Your best bet is to limit you dating pool to a certain radius, say 20-50 miles. You could also set geographic limits such as within your town, city or state.

Dating Red Flag #3 – Being To Provocative When Establishing A Username

This last red flag event is something a lot of internet dates have been known to do that you should definitely avoid. You see them all the time, user names that are meant to incite or stimulate the opposite sex and names that sound too “cute” or “sexy”. If you do decide to have a screen name such as “ReadyForSex” this Red Flag events becomes a green go for sex predators. Thing before getting creative and using your sexuality to attract a mate. Just ask yourself if this really the message you want to send to potential dates.

The fact that you just read this article demonstrates your commitment to [http://www.beginners-online-dating-guide.com/internet-dating-safety.html]internet dating safety. Put this information to good use by being on the lookout for dating red flags.

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L. Hodo manages an online dating website that serves as a guide for anyone looking to join the world of online dating. Newcomers and seasoned veterans alike can gain insightful tips that can be used to connect with other singles. Please visit [http://www.beginners-online-dating-guide.com/]www.beginners-online-dating-guide.com for more information on [http://www.beginners-online-dating-guide.com/dating-red-flags.html]Dating Red Flags to watch out for.

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